Tommy Mommy extraordinaire Sami Cone is back on the blog today to share with you! Sami works closely with the Tommy Team in helping enable the Tommy Mommyies to spread the word about Tommy Nelson. She has two kids of her own, and lots of great stories about them, too! You can check out her blog here and follow her on Twitter here!
Last night after I put my kids in bed, my six year old daughter came down the stairs sobbing. I normally get perturbed when I see my kids emerge from their room after they’ve gone to sleep, but I could tell this time wasn’t normal.
At first I thought she was sick, but I soon discovered that was far from the case. I scooped her up onto my lap and asked what was wrong. Amidst tears and gasps for breath, she confided that she couldn’t stop crying because she always wanted to remember me after I went to heaven.
Whoa. I didn’t see that one coming.
I wanted to tell her that I’d always be there for her. I wanted to tell her I would never leave her. But of course, I can’t guarantee those things. So I just held her and started to cry myself.
One of my worst fears is leaving my kids without their mother. The thought often crosses my mind that if I died today, chances are pretty good that my kids would not even remember me once they grew up.
That’s a heavy burden to bear.
In the same instance, I realized that it’s not a burden I have to handle on my own. Our God is not a God of ‘what if’s’. That being said, the only guarantee in life is that there is no guarantee. For those of us who have accepted Christ in our heart, we can guarantee where our future will be, but that still does not make it any easier for a small child to grasp.
While I don’t want to disillusion my daughter, I did want to find both a tangible and spiritual way to comfort her. I long for her to know she is loved by me, but more importantly I want her to feel that she is loved by God even more.
Then I discovered the book I Am Loved. Part of the “God’s Little Princess” series by Sheila Walsh, I Am Loved is a resource dedicated to celebrating God’s incredible love for our daughters. Of course I love the individual components like the ability to put my daughter’s picture in the locket frame on the cover, but I like what’s inside the book even more. There are 342 vignettes designed to make our little princesses feel special and at the end of each one is my favorite part of the whole book: a simple sentence that ends differently on each page, but always starts out with “I know I am loved because…”
If I tried and tried for days and days on end, I could not more adequately come up with a way to communicate these truths to my daughter. It is one thing for me to tell my daughter I love her more than life, but it’s quite another to walk her through what that looks like day to day. I Am Loved is the first tool I’ve found that allows me to do just that.
In my future, I see a lot more sleepless nights, butterfly kisses, wiping of tears and difficult questions. But the one guarantee I can make is that amidst it all, my daughter will know she is loved.