I have to say February is probably my least favorite month. It’s cold and dreary in Nashville and it’s very well established that I’m not a fan of cold… unless there is snow on the ground and skis on my feet!

But right when February is at it’s coldest and dreariest there comes Valentine’s Day right smack in the middle. All the red and pink really brighten things up around here and lift our spirits. Pete and I have never been big Valentine’s Day people, we celebrate our love 365 days a year so why focus on just one day? Haha… sorry, I couldn’t resist poking a little fun at cupid. Honestly, we’re not big Valentine’s Day people because we hate fighting crowds. We’d rather cook a great steak and enjoy the treat of a loaded baked potato after the kids go to bed. Kick back and enjoy a little peace and quiet in our home, wearing our pajama pants and watching a movie laying on our comfy couch. I think the term I’m looking for is “homebodies.”

Now our kids are big enough to enjoy the holiday… aren’t most things more fun through our kids eyes? So we usually do pink, heart-shaped pancakes for breakfast and try to make some homemade decorations.

When it comes to love and actively showing our kids love I think one of the best ways to do that is through prayer. Sincerely coming to God expressing our desires, concerns and support for those closest to us. Here’s what that looks like in our family.

*Saturday evenings are pretty routine around here. My husband is a pastor and Sundays are so busy that Saturdays are scaled back. We have a low-key dinner, I give the kids baths while Dad studies, then we usually play a game of cards or watch an episode of “Wipe-Out” before everyone heads to bed about 8:30 and I chill out by myself. But a few months ago we decided to shake things up a bit. We had all piled onto one couch (which is one of my favorite family things) and were just kinda wrapping up the day together when Pete asked us to pray for him. So at that moment we stopped, taught our kids how to lay hands on someone and we all specifically prayed for their Daddy and the church. It wasn’t planned, but it sure was precious.

Granted our kids are 10, 7 and 5 so prayer time lasted about 5 minutes. But hearing Jett say, “Thank you God that Dad gets to help change so many lives” was a one of our sweetest family moments. My favorite prayer for their Dad came from Gage a few weeks ago when he prayed “Dear God, help Dad not sweat too much on stage tomorrow.”
So the mini-tradition has continued. It’s become part of our Saturday night routine to stop what we’re doing and pray together as a family specifically for Pete. I love the focus it brings to our evening and the excitement about what the next day might hold. I love that it’s helping teach the boys that being a part of God’s work is an honor. And I love going before God together as Team Wilson.

*We pray every morning on the way to school. Together we come up with three prayer requests then each boys takes their turn to pray and I wrap things up. I love that this habit has taught them God cares about the “small” things as well as the big… school tests, our Compassion child, Sammie, their friendships, their teachers, their teachers’ families, their attitudes towards those they encounter, someone’s pet, and even what will be on their lunch menu.

*Pray for their future spouses. This is a big one for me. I pray for my future daughters-in-laws in private as well as in front of my boys. Let’s face it, in the next 15-20 years we’ll add three girls to our family, that’ll be a blast… and an adjustment. I pray God already begins to knit their hearts together as sisters and as friends. I pray they are raised in a home that loves and honors God. I pray God will join them as one with their mate and carry them through the good times and give them the strength to fight through the bad.

*And the prayer I most often pray for my children is God will grow them together as brothers and as friends. Another prayer I pray privately as well as in front of my boys. They get tired of hearing me say, “Friends will come and go, but a brother is here forever.” I pray for their unity for a lifetime. One of the greatest gifts I can receive is seeing my children develop friendships, laughing together, supporting one another and seeing them walk through life together.

Those are some practical and easy ways we show love for one another through prayer.

What’s one way your family prays for each another? I’d love to hear your ideas.

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Romans 12:13

PS… This post by Priscilla Shirer “God’s Words Spoken Over Our Children” is a great resource for praying over your children.

–
Brandi is a wife to Pete and a mom to Jett, Gage, and Brewer. Her life is truly “Brandi & Boys.” Brandi has been a pastor’s wife for almost 15 years. She and her husband planted Cross Point Church in Nashville, Tennessee in 2002. Brandi has a heart for women in ministry and co-leads a ministry for pastors’ wives at LeadingandLovingIt.com. Brandi loves to be organized, but hates to clean and ice cream is her favorite food.

January is the time to make changes and changes we’re making! Okay, not too many huge changes, we want success so we don’t overshoot our goals. This year we’re implementing a chore chart and pay status (commission, freelance labor, whatever you want to call it).

I really consider myself fortunate because from day one of our marriage, Pete and I shared similar views on money. We’re both “pay cash” and “maintain low debt” kinda people. My parents always managed their money well. They didn’t live above their means. In fact, I remember when I was about 12 my dad taking me with him to our small town bank to pay off our mortgage. Back then all mortgages had a payment book and when all the payments were made a stamp was put through the entire book making a loud ringing sound… basically everyone in the bank would know you’d payed off a large debt. It was a time of celebration. Folks congratulated you and patted you on the back as you were leaving. My parents have lived mortgage free since I was 12. That truly doesn’t happen much anymore.

I began my first paying job when I was 15. Waiting tables paid for my senior prom dress, spending money and provided all my gas money. Balancing a checkbook was a feat I tackled at 16. I even tithed off of my tips (another principle my parents instilled in me as I remember my mom filling out their pink offering envelope every Sunday morning).

But looking back my parents didn’t give a ton of verbal guidance on how to manage money… they just modeled it. They never overspent, they weren’t extravagant, and we made payments on time. Basic concepts lived out in everyday life.

Our children are currently 10, 7 and 5 and there is no better time to start helping them become good stewards. A few months ago my husband did an interview with Rachel Cruz. Not sure who Rachel Cruz is? Well, she’s best known as Dave Ramsey’s daughter. The archived video can be found HERE in a message entitled “Wealth vs. Riches”. It’s worth your time to listen to her perspectives and thoughts on managing money. After the interview Pete and I were both convicted on the same point. If the number one reason recorded for divorce is money… and the divorce rate is currently at 50% of all marriages ending in divorce, then we’re doing a HUGE DISSERVICE to our children by not prepping them to manage their money in a healthy way. We are helping set up their marriage for failure by not using the time they’re under our roof as a time to teach them biblical guidelines for handling the blessings God has bestowed upon them.

But a chore chart serves more than just teaching them how to manage money. It also…
• Allows us to approach our home chores as “Team Wilson.” Our family is in this life together… even where dirty toilets are involved.
• I actually think we’ll refer to the jobs as “Household Responsibilities” rather than “Chore Chart.”
• My kids will get paid (a very small amount) for chores. Yes, an allowance, which I’ve always said I wouldn’t do… but recently (as I’ve already stated) my views have changed.
• Plus we feel strongly about teaching our kids a “Give, Save, Spend” technique.
• I think it’s important for our kids to “contribute” to our family.
• My future daughter-in-laws will love me for preparing good husbands for them!

One of the main resources I’m using to introduce “Give, Save, Spend” is a book entitled Three Cups from Tommy Nelson. Three Cups is a beautiful lesson in life and money specifically created for children.

Three Cups is a heartwarming tale that will help teach children positive and generous attitudes as they learn to handle their own money. It’s a simple story that helps open the doors of communication as your entire family discusses how to appropriately take care of what you’ve been given as you charitably think about others. It’s a great way to introduce concepts that will leave a lasting impact in your children’s lives. The story is so easy to implement that you’ll find yourself weaving Three Cups into everyday discussions and actions. And the illustrations are beautiful.

That’s what January is gearing up to look like for us. I’d love to hear your feedback on implementing chore charts, payments systems and resources you’ve found helpful!

–
Brandi is a wife to Pete and a mom to Jett, Gage, and Brewer. Her life is truly “Brandi & Boys.” Brandi has been a pastor’s wife for almost 15 years. She and her husband planted Cross Point Church in Nashville, Tennessee in 2002. Brandi has a heart for women in ministry and co-leads a ministry for pastors’ wives at LeadingandLovingIt.com. Brandi loves to be organized, but hates to clean and ice cream is her favorite food.

In case you haven’t noticed it’s December! My family loves Christmas. We light up the whole, and I mean WHOLE, house. We eat peanut butter balls and sugar cookies until we’re sick. We wrap gifts and make ornaments. Our holiday season probably looks a lot like yours.

But let’s face it… as much as we all love Christmas it’s also a crazy busy time. Programs, staff parties, year end meetings, the list goes on and on. Pete and I are very purposeful about creating memories and traditions with our family. We don’t want our kids to just remember the meetings… we want them to realize why we passionately serve God, we want to help create spiritual virtues in their lives.

One of our favorite family Christmas traditions is the Jesse Tree. Jesse Tree is a way of celebrating the Advent season that addresses, in particular, how the Old Testament stories all point to the coming of Christ. It’s based on Isaiah 11:1-2.

We use a very simple Jesse Tree curriculum and I’ll be honest, we don’t fit in everyday, but we do try to do it most days. We started a few years ago and used paper ornaments the boys cut out and colored, but more recently the moms’ group I led decided to do a Jesse Tree ornament swap.

The swap was easy, everyone chose a day and made 26 of the same ornament…. I was in charge of Bethlehem.

Then we got together and swapped…

It was so easy and so much fun. I was so excited about the unique collection of ornaments I received. The collection of ornaments have definitely become part of our yearly family tradition that we all look forward to pulling out of the attic.

We keep a special tree sit up in the kitchen with the Jesse Tree ornaments and curriculum close by.

Then each night we sit down as a family, read the scripture, hang the ornament, have age appropriate discussion and close with one of the kids praying. It’s a sweet time.

That’s one way our family slows down during this busy ministry season to focus on the Main Thing.

What does your family do to help maintain your focus during the Christmas season? I’d love to hear some of your family traditions.

–
Brandi is a wife to Pete and a mom to Jett, Gage, and Brewer. Her life is truly “Brandi & Boys.” Brandi has been a pastor’s wife for almost 15 years. She and her husband planted Cross Point Church in Nashville, Tennessee in 2002. Brandi has a heart for women in ministry and co-leads a ministry for pastors’ wives at LeadingandLovingIt.com. Brandi loves to be organized, but hates to clean and ice cream is her favorite food.

We’re all aware it’s November and you know what that means… pilgrims, turkeys, and lots of talk about Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving has always been a meaningful holiday for me, but the importance really sunk in when we started a family. As parents we knew we wanted to raise children who were grateful, children whose attitudes were a reflection of their heart. There’s a quote about attitude that always stops me in my tracks…

“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company… a church… a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past… we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you… we are in charge of our Attitudes.” – Charles R. Swindoll quote

I’m typically a glass half full kinda gal. But from time to time pessimism sneaks in… I get cynical… I complain. Just last week I was grumbling about having to balance the checkbook when I’m well aware we are blessed to have money to manage. My husband further whipped me back into shape when he kindly asked in a recent message, “When has your pessimism and cynicism ever changed anything?”

That’s so true… pessimism and cynicism never change anything. When has my bad attitude ever positively impacted anyone around me? When has my grumbling and fussing caused substantial change?

It causes me to wonder why do we spend so much time complaining when we have been stamped with Hope?

So how does this relate to our children? Our kids are bombarded with information… and we’re all aware a lot of the information isn’t positive, isn’t life-giving. Learning to express our gratitude, at times, takes intentionality. On a regular basis it seems more natural in our world to drift into an attitude of negativity rather then to push through to a heart of appreciation… of thankfulness.

Recently our church launched a #BetterDaysChallenge that our entire family decided to participate in. At the end of each day we think of three things we’re thankful for and share those with each other. Usually it happens at the dinner table or driving down the road, but I’ve been so happy with some of my children’s answers. They’re not just “copying” our answers, they’re being intentional to think about what they can appreciate around them. Sometimes that answers range from “recess” to “glad mom didn’t make us eat salad at dinner” but they’re choosing to look at life with an appreciation, with an attitude that will spur them into a heart of gratefulness. As a family we’re choosing not to follow the bad news of the world that’s publicized all around us but to focus on the Hope of Christ… even in the small things like “not eating salad.” One of the greatest gifts we might be able to give our children is helping them see the beauty of life, the blessings of their heavenly Father. Steering them in a direction where they find value in the small things and can handle disappointment with optimism and hope.

–
Brandi is a wife to Pete and a mom to Jett, Gage, and Brewer. Her life is truly “Brandi & Boys.” Brandi has been a pastor’s wife for almost 15 years. She and her husband planted Cross Point Church in Nashville, Tennessee in 2002. Brandi has a heart for women in ministry and co-leads a ministry for pastors’ wives at LeadingandLovingIt.com. Brandi loves to be organized, but hates to clean and ice cream is her favorite food.

I’m the only bit of estrogen in a testosterone filled home… well, unless you count our one year-old Brittany Spaniel, Millie. But let’s be honest, Millie chews on socks so I’m not sure she counts. Because of my sole-femaleness (is that a word?) my awareness of my role in helping shape my boys’ future is huge. I realize their interaction with me will help shape the type of woman they marry, how they communicate with their wife as well as what they’ll expect from the gal who steals their heart. Talk about pressure!

As a side note, when they were infants and not able to comprehend me fully I’d often whisper to them, “Never love another woman as much as you love your momma.” I know it was horrible, but they were wee little bundles and so cushiony and sweet that I wanted to imagine they’d be mine forever. Now that they’re bigger and getting closer to puberty every day I have no intention of creating co-dependent momma’s boys! In fact, we have regular conversations about what kind of girl they’d like to marry.

Personally, I’ve never been a great communicator, now don’t get me wrong… I can talk. But sometimes I don’t communicate as clearly as I’d like. It’s probably the biggest issue in my marriage. In fact, my husband recently said to me, “If you asked me what I was thinking instead of assuming you know based on my facial expressions you’d probably be surprised with my answer.” And to think I often pride myself on my mind-reading abilities!

Because I know communication can be a personal weakness I work hard to be intentional on my communication with each of our boys… what’s fascinating is how they all need to be communicated to in such different ways.

Take my oldest, Jett, for example. He loves being active. I get the most out of him when we’re throwing a football in the backyard, on a hike in the park or playing 9 holes of golf at a par 3 (unless I’m beating him then he seems to shut down ). The point being, I’m gonna get more out of Jett when we’re “doing” rather than sitting down and chatting on the couch.

Gage, on the other hand, was created for cuddling. If I sit down in the same room with him he’s immediately beside me, bodies pressed together. He’s most chatty about life during down time… when he sneaks into our bed in the morning, when I’m laying down with him at bedtime or when we’re just hanging on the couch looking at a book.

And Brewer, who will eternally be referred to as the “baby,” communicates best when I am focused solely on him. He likes eye-contact and affirmation he’s been heard. Frustration creeps in when he hears me answering him but sees I’m not looking at him. If he doesn’t get the affirmation he needs he’s like a broken record trying to make sure he’s been heard correctly… and if he doesn’t receive reciprocation he’ll shut down and head to his room to be alone.

The difference in their communication styles can keep a momma busy. But let’s be honest, there’s no one else I’d rather be figuring out!

Your turn… I’d love to hear what you’ve found to be the best form of communication to reach each of your children.

–
Brandi is a wife to Pete and mom to Jett, Gage, and Brewer. Her life is truly “Brandi & Boys.” She is not trying for a 4th baby to “get a girl” as that is the question most asked of her. God has placed some amazing girls in her life she gets to love and influence. Brandi has been a pastor’s wife for almost 15 years. She and her husband planted Cross Point Church in Nashville, Tennessee in 2002. Brandi has a heart for women in ministry and co-leads a ministry for pastors’ wives called “Leading and Loving It.” Brandi loves to be organized, but hates to clean. She is always up for trying a new recipe, especially if it’s a dessert. Reading is a favorite past time and she almost reads fiction. She adores the beach, Diet Dr. Pepper and ice cream is her favorite food.