Wow! Another year has flown by and us here we are again, preparing to celebrate the birth of our Savior.

In my house that means coordinating lots of dates on the calendar for parties, musicals, and worship services, decorating the house, baking, meals with extended family, shopping, wrapping, sharing, giving, promising myself to get a good night’s rest each night (and failing miserably), and a bunch of other stuff, all jammed into the pretty short Advent season.

But Advent is about much more than all of those activities. And no matter how hard we try to make it special for our kids, special for our friends, special for ourselves, the most special thing has already been done: He came for us.

No matter how much busy-ness we decide to carry out or create, the best thing about Christmas has already happened. Unto us was born a Savior!

This season, as you rush from here to there, cramming things in to make the holiday special, please stop as often as you can and remember: He already made it special. And He made it special for each and every single one of us.

So how do you share this with your kids and also remember it yourself?

I’m going to try to focus on Him more and the other stuff less. Sure, I’ll still decorate, go to parties and do other things, but I’m making a point to stop and thank our Father as often as I can, rather than focus on how long my to-do list may be. And I plan to tell my kids all about it as I go and invite them to join me in saying “Thanks!”

Thank you, Father, for your son. Thank you, Father, for this season to really step back and reflect. And thank you, Father for the opportunity to celebrate by______. I’ll fill in the blank with whatever task I am doing or is overwhelming me. I have a feeling that, by regularly pausing, He will help me to keep my focus closer to where it needs to be.

Another way I keep my focus on Him is through something I first made for myself in 2008:

It’s an Advent calendar for moms and families. Each year I tweak the activities to fit and then follow them each day. If you’d like to join me, I’d love to know you are doing some of the things with me. Just click over and take a look.

What else can we do?

Cover our days in the Word.

It’s easy to get caught up in all the extra worship services and forget to read your Bible and pray each day. Try extra hard this December and let us know how it goes. If you are struggling to find a reading plan, consider reading a bit of Luke all month long or pick up a Bible and read whatever chapter of Proverbs reflects today’s date. Whatever plan you pick, the important thing is to stay in the Word and focus on Him.

Together let’s pause this month, reflect, and not allow the busy-ness of December take us away from the the most special thing about Christmas.

Merry Christmas, friends!

Nativity photo credit:Hoejin

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Amy is the Mom behind both Mom’s Toolbox and Mom’s Travel Tales. She is a world traveler — in heart, body, and prayer and enjoys sharing her experiences with others. She regularly hosts the Bible in 90 Days read-along. A mother of three young children, Amy writes to equip moms with tools for success whether at home, abroad or in between.

I am thankful for my kids and I want to be sure they know that.

So often I get caught up in teaching by correcting, reminding my children to sit still, get their homework done without being distracted, stop talking and the like.

With all of this correction going on, sometimes I wonder if I need to do more teaching by example.

This month, instead of teaching my children thankfulness by asking them to tell me what they are thankful for, I am going to try my best to let them know each and every day that I am thankful for them and their efforts.

I might give my daughter a super-big smile as I thank her for being a ray of sunshine in our morning routine. I might arrange for a ‘date’ with my older son at the library when he can pick out books un-rushed as I thank him for being such an avid reader. Perhaps I’ll learn a few jokes and share them with my silly middle guy who has a sillier sense of humor than I do.

Showing I am thankful for them doesn’t mean I need to go over the top and do things that require extra effort every day or even every week, though.

I’ll also do simple things like making a point to just say “thank you for being you,” more often or “thank you for doing as I asked,” when they follow instructions.

I wonder what all of this thankfulness directed toward them will do for their self-esteem and their attitude. And I wonder how it will impact their actions.

I’m also keeping a numbered sheet of paper for each of them and writing something I am thankful for about them for each day of this month. Then, at the end of the month, I’ll give them my list for the 30 days so they can reflect on it and be reminded of some of the ways I am thankful for them. Or maybe I’ll keep the lists going through Christmas and wrap them up as Christmas gifts.

My hope is that this little exercise will teach my children how to express thankfulness and love as they see me modeling that behavior. I have a feeling much more will be accomplished at the end of the month than just that, though.

How do you express thankfulness toward your children? I’d love to read some of your ideas so I can use them, too.

If you’d like to join me in this thankfulness exercise, feel free to join in anytime. If you let me know you’re in right here in the comments, I’ll pray for your commitment to the exercise.

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Amy is the Mom behind both Mom’s Toolbox and Mom’s Travel Tales. She is a world traveler — in heart, body, and prayer and enjoys sharing her experiences with others. She regularly hosts the Bible in 90 Days read-along. A mother of three young children, Amy writes to equip moms with tools for success whether at home, abroad or in between.

Parenting is always changing. As I’ve said here before, often it feels like once I get the hang of something, circumstances change.

I feel the same way about parenting three (or at times four, if you include our foreign exchange daughters of the past two years) children. We have always had basic rules and guidelines, but each child is so different from the others that we often have to modify our strategies.

Our youngest is such a people-pleaser. She just wants to do the right things and wants to help. She thrives on gaining acceptance and, consequently I compliment her on being a great helper. I also try to stress how much I love her because God made her just the way she is.

Yes, motivating her by praising her actions is convenient, but I also want to establish a strong foundation in her to gain her worth from our Father, not from her actions.

Our middle child is quintessentially middle child. He goes with the flow and flies under the radar. Every now and then he shows his deeply sensitive, caring side, and he gives the best hugs at bedtime. He reminds me that I cannot take his easy-going demeanor for granted and instead I need to make time for special moments with just him, listening and letting him know how thankful I am to have him as my son.

Our oldest is our deep thinker. He wants to understand things. Teaching him to do as told and not question authority has been a challenge… but we have seen great strides in the past few months. On one hand, I want him to do as told and not question, and yet on the other, I want him to be self-motivated and know why he is doing what he is required to do. More than once I’ve told him not to question me, to trust me and to just do as I have instructed and not argue or procrastinate. And then I think about my own relationship with our Father and wonder how many times God has thought the same thing about me.

And caring for someone else’s teenager in a foreign country (at least to them)… That is an entirely different ballgame! Especially when your own children are only in elementary school!

As I focus on building strong relationships with each of my children individually, as well as building a strong family bond, I am reminded of our Father. How in the world does He know just what blessings to put in our day to make each of us smile, and which lessons need to be taught in different ways? I only have a handful of personalities to figure out, yet he has billions. And he loves each and every one of us just the same… Even when we mess up. Amazing.

So how do I do it? What is the key to treating each child as an individual, yet still holding them all to the same family standards?

I certainly don’t have it figured out, but my husband and I try our best.

We make time for one-on-one time with our children. No, we don’t have an elaborate schedule, and no, it doesn’t always work out perfectly, but we try to find pockets of time where each of us can spend some alone time with just one child while the other does something with the other two.

We don’t always split things up by gender. It can be so easy to have my husband handle the boys while I do girl things with our daughter. Instead, we intentionally mix things up here and there to get new perspectives… and sometimes my husband even teaches me a thing or two about the girly stuff from his experiences with our daughter.
I pray over my children individually. I admit that sometimes, at the end of the day, it’s easier to just say a blanket prayer over our children. But the nights that I take the time to pray out loud over them while they listen, praying for their individual needs, are especially powerful.

Our standards for our family remain consistent with each child, yet we recognize the ways to reach those standards are different. Consequently we do have different expectations for each child for some elements, but the end goal is the same for everyone.

Finally, I try my best to remember to extend and also accept grace. Not even one of my children is perfect. And I am not perfect, either. I am not expected to be perfect and I, consequently, cannot expect them to be perfect, either. I can expect them to try, though. And I can expect them to show love. But I cannot expect perfection in every area all of the time.

And, back on that grace thing, I try to remember that I am doing my best, but I am not God. I am going to make mistakes. I just need to learn from them, ask for forgiveness (sometimes from our Father, sometimes from my children) and move on. He will see me though. And He will wash over my mistakes if I just ask.

What about you? If you have more than one child, how do you be sure to treat them as individuals and meet each one where he needs to be met? I’d love to learn from your ideas…

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Amy is the Mom behind both Mom’s Toolbox and Mom’s Travel Tales. She is a world traveler — in heart, body, and prayer and enjoys sharing her experiences with others. She regularly hosts the Bible in 90 Days read-along. A mother of three young children, Amy writes to equip moms with tools for success whether at home, abroad or in between.

Aaaaahhhhh. Back to school.

As much as I enjoy the lazy, traveling, sleeping in, no rush and exploring days of summer, I always look forward to the fresh start of a brand new school year.

I love meeting my children’s new teachers. I love fresh crisp school supplies. I love seeing my kids in new clothes and I love the opportunity for a clean start.

Wiping the slate clean and starting new is invigorating. I love it so much that I use lots of excuses throughout the year to do that… back to school, January and even the start of summer.

The thing about each of those fresh starts, though, is that they are all temporary. I can set goals for how to be a better disciple, wife, mom and friend, but I am always going to fall short.

I am going to make mistakes. And I am probably going to get frustrated about those mistakes, too.

The good news is that all the fresh starts throughout the year cannot compare to the one fresh start I am given over and over by my Father in the gift of forgiveness which came from inviting Jesus into my life and into my heart.

Recognizing my shortcomings and the need for Jesus in my life to wash away my sins is the best fresh start I can get. And I am so thankful that it is a continual sea of fresh starts, because I make a lot of mistakes!

Does this mean I should just give up and not set any goals or try to be the best I can be? Absolutely not. Following Christ not only means accepting His love and forgiveness, it also means striving to live a life that honors Him.

So yes, I still take advantage of all those worldly fresh starts to set new goals and try to live a better life on earth… but I also embrace all of those more fulfilling complete fresh starts given me by my Father.

And I try so very hard to model those fresh starts with my own children when they make mistakes and ask for forgiveness. That’s not always easy, but I find that when I truly forgive my children for their mistakes and move past them, we all do better.

Their trust in me grows, their behavior changes and the explosiveness of whatever bad decision they are seeking forgiveness about is often diffused. And then we all feel better and can move on.

It’s hard to admit mistakes and ask for forgiveness. But when I do, boy do I ever feel better! I know my children ultimately feel the same way.

Do you feel the invigorating power of a fresh start with our Father? And do you model it for your children?

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Amy is the Mom behind both Mom’s Toolbox and Mom’s Travel Tales. She is a world traveler — in heart, body, and prayer and enjoys sharing her experiences with others. She regularly hosts the Bible in 90 Days read-along. A mother of three young children, Amy writes to equip moms with tools for success whether at home, abroad or in between.

Me with my number one routine... even in a hotel on vacation

10 years ago I became a mom and I am still trying to get the hang of it.

It seems that once I begin to understand one stage, it is time to move onto the next and I have to start learning again from scratch. And every time I try to come up with a new chore chart, behavior system or even a simple routine to-do list, something changes. It’s enough to make a girl who craves routine (like me) want to lose it sometimes!

There has been one routine I put in place years ago that has stuck… and that one has helped me to make it through the craziness of being a mom of three young kids (plus a couple of foreign exchange students through the years).

I make it a point to spend some time in the Word every day. Sometimes I carry out ambitious Bible reading plans (like reading it all in 90 days) and sometimes I take a leisurely stroll (like a Bible in a year plan or expanding on the verses in a topical study).

No matter the plan, I just make sure I am reading something and listening somehow.

By immersing myself in the Word daily, I am reminded to call out to Him for help when I need it. I am reminded that I was created to do just what I am doing. And I am reminded the He loves me even through all of my mistakes.

Keeping all of this in mind helps me as I parent my children. We don’t have a formal study plan as a family, but we do talk about Jesus regularly. In making the commitment to really read and pray every single day, I am filling my heart and mind with Bible stories and wisdom I can apply to my life and, in turn share with my children.

Keeping this routine is not always easy. My intent is to start the day by reading my Bible, but that doesn’t always happen. Just like every other mom, sometimes the kids need me earlier than I would like and sometimes I know I need to sleep a little later (if I can!). But I try my best to make sure it happens every day.

When the day doesn’t start off with me reading my Bible, I make it a point to do it before I do anything else that may be optional… that means before checking email, before blogging and before any other housework.

If it is a day that I just cannot get to it for whatever reason, I carry my Bible with me or I access an online one and will spend some focused quiet time reading and praying somewhere before the day is finished. And yes, sometimes that happens right before I fall into bed.

So how can you apply this routine to your life?
First, find a Bible plan that will be our backup plan no matter what.
I use this Bible in a Year plan as my back up. You can jump in and start this plan anytime (today even, if you like) and it will always be there for you.

If that plan works for you, stick with it. If not, pray and ask God to show you the plan that is right for you. While you are waiting for an answer, though, go ahead and use the one I suggested to get you on the right track.

Once you make daily Bible reading your number one routine, you’ll see how He will carry you through the rest of your days. And you will find yourself learning more, sharing more, and living the life God has set for you, one step at a time.

I am so thankful I put in to place one routine that I have been able to carry all these years, though. Without it, I would be in BIG trouble!

Do you also read the Bible routinely? How do make sure to fit it in everyday?

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Amy is the Mom behind both Mom’s Toolbox and Mom’s Travel Tales. She is a world traveler — in heart, body, and prayer and enjoys sharing her experiences with others. She regularly hosts the Bible in 90 Days read-along. A mother of three young children, Amy writes to equip moms with tools for success whether at home, abroad or in between.