Boys and the Lovey Dovey Stuff

Hearts and flowers and pink and…

Valentine’s Day was just not designed with boys in mind.

As a girl, I think all the lovey dovey stuff that comes with Valentine’s Day is so fun, but beyond the abundance of chocolate {which both boys LOVE}, this holiday is ALL “girly” to them. And I know these boys want NOTHING to do with anything “girly!”

But that doesn’t mean love needs to be a concept totally lost on them! We are doing our boys a great disservice if we just steer clear of love all together.

In fact, love as defined by our God is far from the flowery love that we find plastered everywhere leading up to February 14th.

Here’s a few ideas for sharing the true meaning of love with your boys without getting any eye rolls…

*Love means service. This one works best when YOU as the parent model it first. Find new ways to serve your community this month and invite your children to join you. This is the kind of love Jesus demonstrated most often, so it is quite easy to find examples to refer to in the Bible. Feet washing might be something you aren’t used to doing with your children, but it will be memorable for them and a conversation starter for serving others out of love. When you have started this thought process in their young minds, ask them to think of ways to show love to others through service!

*Love means putting others first. How about serving them THEIR favorite meal on Valentine’s Day? Or making “dates” throughout the month with each one to do THEIR favorite things? Of course, these things are great all year round, but if you haven’t started, do it this month!

*Love means speaking their “language.” Some boys may be thrilled to hear “I love you” from mom and dad all the time, but others need to hear it in a different way. Try “You are such an awesome guy!” or “We are so blessed to have you as a son!” This may take some trial-and-error to find the words that convey love best to him, but it will be time well spent!

*Love means sacrifice. The best place to start is with the greatest act of love our world has ever seen. Jesus’ death on the cross illustrates the heroic and sacrificial aspects of love. I know the word “hero” gets my boys’ attention every time! Talk about the sacrifices others have made in the name of love – for family, for country, for Jesus. Love in action is very powerful.

How do you communicate love to your boys? How do you teach them about the meaning of love in a way that reaches their unique boy hearts?


Erin Mohring is a follower of Jesus Christ, wife of a med student and stay-at-home mom to two lively young boys. The hubby and Erin have been blissfully married for eight years. Big J is five and Little J is almost three. She’s learning quickly about the world of boys – which you can follow at Home with the Boys!